leisure and last month

     Last month was supposed to be leisure. I was supposed to focus my attention on the things I love to do and bypass the stress. Well, let me just tell you it was not that easy. I think last month was the most stressful month I have had in forever! Work was crazy, kids were crazy, my schedule was crazy- everything.

It was super hard because things being the way they were I couldn’t run and I have realized this is essential for me when I feel the anxiety and the feeling of being so overwhelmed creep in. It seemed like last month all the little things that I always do turned into really big things all going on at once. For instance, I belong to this wonderful MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) group. I am a group leader and I love it. Usually it does require some work, but I always make it happen. One of my jobs is to remind the ladies in my group when it is our turn to bring food. I totally forgot until 8 o’clock the night before. This, in mops group standards, was huge. It all worked out but seriously, my brain was just so not there.

I didn’t cook because we had something going on it seemed like every night.

 I think the worst thing I decided to do last month was try to be a couponer. I thought I would love couponing. I like to shop, I like to cook, I like to get a deal and I like to be in control of organizing things… I thought. Well, not so much when it came to couponing. I spent all my extra time trying to come up with a good system for it and then I just felt like a loser because I was missing deals I should have realized. I think I spent almost the same amount of money without the gourmet food. I did save on some things, but mostly I just constantly felt like I was out of time to do a good job with it. Problem is that now that I started I cant stop. I have decided to only clip the coupons for the things I buy all the time and try to not let my brain get so wrapped up. Yes, I did save some money, but the enjoyment I get out of making a grocery list out of cookbook definitely outweighs making a grocery list out of my coupon stack. All the numbers just stress me out and cooking is supposed to be a stress reliever

The other issue with last month is we did not go to church at all. We don’t always go and usually it is not to big a deal because I listen to the sermons on my ipod when I run- it is very inspirational. Since I have not been running I have not gotten the inspiration and reminder of the great miracle of our lives. I need the reminder.

I had all the craziness, but I ended the month in total paradise. Carl and I took our honeymoon in Long Boat Key, FL at my grandparents’ condo and every year we try to go back. For the last week of this past month the whole family spent 7 days in heaven on the beach. No worries, no stress, some bugs, but for the most part it was just amazing! We spent each evening at sun down by the water watching all the boys in our fam play football and chasing sand crabs with the kids. It was awesome!! I will post some pictures.

Now back to reality and getting rid of stress in normal life-

 Tomorrow morning I am going running. I am going to listen to Todd (our pastor) and laugh and be inspired. I am going to hug my kids like there is no tomorrow because that is what really matters. And I am going to enjoy this beautiful, crazy, amazing life.

Having Fun

This month I am suppose to get serious about having fun. What is fun? What may be fun for one person may not be fun for another. I have also found that what I think is fun now is totally different now that I have kids. I relish in my quiet activities. I love surfing the internet and finding out things that I would have never know otherwise. I love it. I think it is very fun to cook. I actually really enjoy to go the grocery store by myself with Pandora on my phone and listen to good music while I search for what I have on my shopping list. It always takes me way longer than it should. I love to be outside. I love to sit in the sun and take in the sunshine. I love to garden. I love to take super long bubble baths and watch trashy reality tv on my computer. I love to run and listen to Sagebrush podcasts. I love to finish a peace of art. I admit I don’t always love creating it until I see progress and with pencil that usually takes awhile. But I do love it and should do it more. Same with ridding. I haven’t ridden my poor old horse in forever. I hate to get ready to ride, but I love it when I am doing it. It is nostalgic considering how much time I spent ridding as a kid. I love the summer. I love to hear my kids laugh outside. I love to eat ice pops all day with them under our big sun umbrella in the back yard. I love a good chat with a friend, my mom, my sister, or my hubby. Good conversation with someone that really cares. I love a good book. The kind that you can’t put down and the pages just disappear.  These are a few things really enjoy. This month I am going to try to do all of them more and really focus on only doing things I really enjoy. When there is an option the things I only kinda like to do I am going to have say no. This is about enjoying my time so I can truly say “at this moment I am happy.”  

Outward vs. Inward Happiness

Through this happiness project this year I have had a big ‘a ha’ realization about happiness. There are two big kinds of happiness. The first is outward happiness. This is the infectious laughter, the kind words, the always having something positive to say and refraining from the negative, a simple smile and so on. The second is inward happiness. This is the feeling of peace in a crazy world, the happy thoughts about someone you love, a place you are going, a sense of accomplishment, self worth and contentment. There are two kinds of happiness, inward and outward and the trick is to mastering both at the same time.  

Just because you are great at faking outward happiness doesn’t always mean you have it all together inside. We have to work at it. This was where I found myself at the beginning of the year. It seemed like I had it all together, but I needed a focus, a goal, something to bring my thoughts together and give me a purpose to bring more joy into my heart. God definitely helped with this. It gives me a sense of peace to hear encouraging words that give my little life reason. There is an energy that connects us and that is amazing and comforting at the same time. Even if you are not a church going person the acknowledgement that all our lives do fit together and we can all learn and grow from each other is uplifting and brings inward happiness. It has for me.

Focusing on things that need improvement in my life has also brought me inward happiness. That has been the purpose of my happiness project. I have had to focus on parts of my life and change my way of thinking.

Things have come full circle and it is outward happiness that has needed attention lately. You can be completely happy and content on the inside, but if you don’t figure out how to show it then what is the point? This actually can take some effort. Remembering to smile, to say positive things and not negative, and trying to laugh at the small things. I have realized my mood can affect everyone around me. The harder I try to let the happiness that I have inside show on the outside then the happier everyone around me becomes. I have realized that sometimes it is ok to remind the people closest to me to let their happiness show also. Their mood affects my happiness as well and I want it to be a positive change, not negative. Inward happiness you control, but outward happiness is highly influential. Surrounding myself with happy people makes me happier as well.

There are two kinds of happiness. My goal now is to bring outward and inward happiness together and be strong enough and smart enough to recognize when it happens so I can make it happen again.

Are you happy?

An update: end of March and on to April

I have totally slacked off with updating my blog lately. Good news is that I have not slacked off with my project at all. In fact, things have been going great.

I finished off the month of work fabulously. Despite everyone wanting us to go to computerized system at the salon we have decided against it. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it! Instead we decided to focus our attention on things that we can fix easily and we have a list we are working off of. The salon has been doing great and I had one of the best months ever with permanent makeup. When Lorenco’s is doing well it really makes me so much less stressed. That finished up March and my month of work all on a good note.

On to April- April has been for the kids. My goal this month has been simple: put their feelings first. They are so cute and beautiful and fresh from God. Although they challenge my sanity in every way I just can’t imagine my life with out them. I wanted to do projects with them so we did a whole magic themed project one day. Mason helped me plant in the back yard another day and we made a fountain. I have been practicing guitar with him which is just so cute. He can play the beginning of ‘Smoke on the Water’ and it is so cool. Kenna and I ‘make tea’ together with her dollies. She actually helps me cook too. Time goes by so fast. I have really just been trying to soak in all the ‘good stuff’ with my little ones. April has been great!

I made it all the way through lent with only eating fast food once. No Starbucks and no regrets. I’m so glad I did this. It was so much healthier for all of us and now I don’t even want fast food. I did lose weight- an added bonus, had more money and a clearer focus on what is important. I think I might just keep it up.

In my kitchen: I’m trying to remember all the good stuff I have made since my last post. I don’t think I can remember it all but I did have a couple favorites. The other night I made ‘beggars linguine with shredded chicken’. It is butter, almonds, chicken, golden raisins, finely chopped figs, salt and pepper and parmesan. I ate way to much of it. So good. I have come up with a bunch of ideas to make good healthy food and pretty easy. The Dutch oven is my favorite kitchen item. That pot just makes everything taste good. I really enjoy cooking so much. I can’t wait until this summer and I can have all the fresh herbs from my little garden to play with. I know it will all taste that much better!  

This happiness project has been so far one of the best things I have ever done. I have grown in so many ways and have changed my focus for my life. I have really just realized how blessed I am in my life.

So far with work

I don’t know why, but this month has kinda just all come together. It does seem a little weird that the month of work has been easier then the month of love (last month) or organization (January). The big part of this challenge is to keep up with the months past resolutions while improving on a new part of my life. For some reason the balance just worked out this last week!

Work: Work started out a bit rocky with a few difficult clients and upside down schedules. But I just kept with it. I have a lot on my plate, but excited. We brought in a new makeup line that I really like. I have increased my business in areas that I am normally a little intimidated by. I have made a more money and managed to keep stress down. Can’t complain. I still have a ways to go to feel like I really accomplished my goals for the work month (if paperwork doesn’t kill me first), but it’s working out. I have stayed busy and improved business so can’t complain too much.

Lent: Giving up eating out for lent is not been simple because I really crave Starbucks sometimes, especially since there is one on every corner these days. You know what though; it’s really not that bad. I have an extra $100 a week. Can’t believe I was spending that much, but I was. Since it is for lent I think I should give some of it to our church or a charity or something: This week’s goal.

Love: The time change has equaled the kids going to bed at an incredibly late hour. I also have had something going on like every night and sometimes don’t get home until real late. We have not been on a date just the two of us in I don’t even know how long. Somehow though, despite the apparent challenges of life, love has been really been there. We both have been running a lot more. I think that makes us happier so that’s good. But I really feel like even if it means staying up ‘til two in the morning and we are like zombies the next day we both are really trying to spend time with each other. Netflix dates in the Hohsfield living room. It was Carl’s B-day on the 20^th so I spoiled him and got him a cool bike rack and new cologne. His mom made chicken and dumplings Friday night and my mom made enchiladas on Sunday. Good birthday weekend.

Organization and Cooking: I did get a bit less organized and improvised a few meals which all turned out good, but I do better with a good recipe. We have eaten almost all the beef recipes in my cook book which surprised me. Turns out we are real beef eaters. There is no pasta in this book and sometimes a little pasta is just needed and that is where I think the improvising came from. In any case, I made a lot of good stuff and still am enjoying it so much. I make pea soup all the time now. It is one of my favorite lunches. I also tried leek and potato soup and provencal vegetable soup and the kids loved both! I made tuna-packed bell peppers. I really liked it, Carl ate it, Kenna ate the bell peppers and Mason thought we were crazy. I made corned beef for St Patrick’s day and turned it into a really great Spanish quiche the next morning with some red chili. Very good. M. Jacques’ Armagnac chicken was great. It is funny to see what my kids eat left to their own decision. McKenna eats all the chicken and nothing else. Mason eats all the carrots and potatoes and won’t touch the chicken. They are funny. They both loved Mediterranean style halibut that I made which really shocked me. Eggplant parmesan too. Garlicky crumb coated broccoli was great, but broccoli is one of my favorite veggies anyway. I think the best meal was probably the short ribs in red wine and port with cheesy mashed potatoes. I took it to mom and dad’s and it was great. Abbey and Corey came over for one of my improvised chicken pasta and chickpea concoctions. I do think I have definitely become a more educated cook. I also think all these recipes will taste very different with fresh herbs this summer as opposed to the dried ones. I have not been planning the menu as well. This week: plan ahead and try something very different and new.

Giving up eating out- holy cow

Work is not just about the place I work at. Sometimes it doesn’t hurt to work on other things in my life. I have decided to give up eating out for lent. No- I am not catholic, but when you are really needing to work at something it doesn’t hurt to have a good purpose. The way I see it this will improve my wallet, waistline, and give me time during my cravings to think about what is really important. Yes, this does include Starbucks, so it will be a real sacrifice.

March in the Happines Project

I have really been stalling about my March Happiness project focus. It is supposed to be ‘work’ and to be honest sometimes I really just don’t feel like putting any more into work. I have been dragging my feet. I even debated do something else and going back to this later in true procrastinator fashion. Then at church last Sunday the sermon was on money and getting a handle on it so it doesn’t get a handle on you. In my personal life I have good control right now, but in my job… not so much. I have just kinda let the business keep on running lately and not staying on top of it. So with a little gilt and some renewed enthusiasm I am going to work on work.

The project this month is going to be simple:

1) Revamp the now ancient budget for my business

- need to make a plan to pay off any debt

- would like to find a to give back more to

2) Research and order a computer program to do the scheduling book in order to         bring us into this century   

3) Make sure to answer my phone so I can increase business despite my kids literally hanging on me (May have to lock myself in the bathroom or something to muffle their ‘mommy’s while trying to talk and seem professional)

4) Watch at least one video a week to keep up with my trade

5) Stay positive
here we go...