Who are we? What makes me the person that I am? At the beginning of this year I knew I needed a change. I had a great life with awesome people around me, but I just was not enjoying it. I was not focusing on what really makes me happy. What is happiness anyway? Certainly things can make us happy. Focuses can make us happy. Projects can make us happy. What was I looking for?
I started the Happiness Project where every month I would focus on a new aspect of my life. Family, God and space to run. These I had decided were (and still are) the most important things in my life and with each new month I was going to try align my focus with these three values.
I hit the ground running with project lists lined up. I was surprised to quickly learn that what I wanted was not elation or momentary excitement, that didn’t feel like happiness, but instead contentment, calmness, peace and joy in my heart.
Paramhansa Yogananda writes in How to be Happy all the Time, “ The end result of emotional extremes is extreme emotional dissatisfaction. Perfect happiness lies not at any of the extremities of our outer experiences, but at a point of calmness midway between them all.”
I learned a lot about myself this year. I learned that actions are not happiness, but in order to get to that content place I do have to take action. I took action and learned a lot about myself and others.
This is what makes me happy…
A good Run- When my brain starts to get over whelmed the only thing to clean it out is to run. I said I needed space to run. The truth is I just need to literally run. I don’t go fast. I will not win a race. But nothing works to iron out the frustration like a little sweat.
Cooking- I feel the same about many projects as I do cooking. When I was younger I was an artist. I loved to sit there and focus on something and I loved to see people enjoy it when I was finished. My art was always very logical, like following my own recipe. It has not been so easy having oil paints out with babies as you can imagine, but cooking has seemed to work in its place. Food has turned into my art project and it calms me. Everyone needs a passion that intrigues their own brain. It makes you ‘you’.
People- I really should not be critical of others. While I have been working to ‘happyfy’ myself I made some discoveries about other people. Nobody says they do not want to be happy. No one. In my opinion, everyone given the choice would say they want to be happy. So many people just have no idea on how to get there. Give people the benefit of the doubt. People don’t wake up and say ‘I want to be mean and unhappy and make someone else’s life hell.’ Or maybe some people do, but at the root of all that negativity and their faults is they just have not figured out how to calm their soul and just be happy themselves. And that is ok. Most people are probably great people. They just don’t know how to show it. We all do the best we can.
I have also learned that the right people can make your life so much richer. I don’t need 20 friends. If one friend or family member is the person to make me a better person that is all I need. I hope that every person around me is someone that can teach me to be a better person.
The biggest difference in my life: God. I spent so much of my life trying to figure it out. I wanted answers to all the bigger questions. But in the end any ‘answers’ I received or facts I could prove or disprove did not make me any happier. In fact, it always did just the opposite. It made me bitter and confused. So, I let go. Finally, I let go. In every society since the beginning of time humans have had some sort of deity. Some sort of God. It is our biological make up to want to know there is something more to all this. Something that watches over and guides us. Loves us no matter what and keeps things in order. Why fight biology or sociology. I am human and I admit it feels so good to just say ok, I don’t have the answers, but God has a plan for me. To let go and just let God is happiness like I have never known. It’s peace.
Now at the end of this year of happiness I have reflected on what this year has brought me. I have learned that finding real happiness requires taking action as the first step, but the action itself is not what makes the difference. The real difference is what comes when you open up your heart and mind to change and make the conscience decision to allow yourself to see things different then you ever have before. It’s a mental peace and calmness.
I really am happy.
If you get a chance and want inspiration on life and happiness there is a $10 book that is worth every penny and more. It is a collection of works by Paramhansa Yogananda entitled, How to be Happy all the Time. It’s only about 150 pages and super simple to read. There are certain people that just get it. He ‘got’ happiness and his inspirational words really help to gain perspective.
