End of the year and the Happiness Project 2011

Who are we? What makes me the person that I am? At the beginning of this year I knew I needed a change. I had a great life with awesome people around me, but I just was not enjoying it. I was not focusing on what really makes me happy. What is happiness anyway? Certainly things can make us happy. Focuses can make us happy. Projects can make us happy. What was I looking for?

I started the Happiness Project where every month I would focus on a new aspect of my life. Family, God and space to run. These I had decided were (and still are) the most important things in my life and with each new month I was going to try align my focus with these three values.

I hit the ground running with project lists lined up. I was surprised to quickly learn that what I wanted was not elation or momentary excitement, that didn’t feel like happiness, but instead contentment, calmness, peace and joy in my heart.  

Paramhansa Yogananda writes in How to be Happy all the Time, “ The end result of emotional extremes is extreme emotional dissatisfaction. Perfect happiness lies not at any of the extremities of our outer experiences, but at a point of calmness midway between them all.”

I learned a lot about myself this year. I learned that actions are not happiness, but in order to get to that content place I do have to take action. I took action and learned a lot about myself and others.

This is what makes me happy…

A good Run- When my brain starts to get over whelmed the only thing to clean it out is to run. I said I needed space to run. The truth is I just need to literally run. I don’t go fast. I will not win a race. But nothing works to iron out the frustration like a little sweat.

Cooking- I feel the same about many projects as I do cooking. When I was younger I was an artist. I loved to sit there and focus on something and I loved to see people enjoy it when I was finished. My art was always very logical, like following my own recipe. It has not been so easy having oil paints out with babies as you can imagine, but cooking has seemed to work in its place. Food has turned into my art project and it calms me. Everyone needs a passion that intrigues their own brain. It makes you ‘you’.

People- I really should not be critical of others. While I have been working to ‘happyfy’ myself I made some discoveries about other people. Nobody says they do not want to be happy. No one. In my opinion, everyone given the choice would say they want to be happy. So many people just have no idea on how to get there. Give people the benefit of the doubt. People don’t wake up and say ‘I want to be mean and unhappy and make someone else’s life hell.’ Or maybe some people do, but at the root of all that negativity and their faults is they just have not figured out how to calm their soul and just be happy themselves. And that is ok. Most people are probably great people. They just don’t know how to show it. We all do the best we can.

I have also learned that the right people can make your life so much richer. I don’t need 20 friends. If one friend or family member is the person to make me a better person that is all I need. I hope that every person around me is someone that can teach me to be a better person.

The biggest difference in my life: God. I spent so much of my life trying to figure it out. I wanted answers to all the bigger questions. But in the end any ‘answers’ I received or facts I could prove or disprove did not make me any happier. In fact, it always did just the opposite. It made me bitter and confused. So, I let go. Finally, I let go. In every society since the beginning of time humans have had some sort of deity. Some sort of God. It is our biological make up to want to know there is something more to all this. Something that watches over and guides us. Loves us no matter what and keeps things in order. Why fight biology or sociology. I am human and I admit it feels so good to just say ok, I don’t have the answers, but God has a plan for me. To let go and just let God is happiness like I have never known. It’s peace.

Now at the end of this year of happiness I have reflected on what this year has brought me. I have learned that finding real happiness requires taking action as the first step, but the action itself is not what makes the difference. The real difference is what comes when you open up your heart and mind to change and make the conscience decision to allow yourself to see things different then you ever have before. It’s a mental peace and calmness.

I really am happy.  

If you get a chance and want inspiration on life and happiness there is a $10 book that is worth every penny and more. It is a collection of works by Paramhansa Yogananda entitled, How to be Happy all the Time. It’s only about 150 pages and super simple to read. There are certain people that just get it. He ‘got’ happiness and his inspirational words really help to gain perspective.

October's adventure and getting back to happy

Here I am, Shelby Hohsfield and I have totally fallen off my Happiness Project wagon. Good news is today is October 1^st and I am getting back on whole heartedly.

We bought this house. It needed a lot of work and to be honest it is still a major work in progress. I love doing the DIY (do it yourself) home projects and painting away. I love this house. I love my huge backyard and all the great character and space this new place has for my family. I love all that, but I have realized something about myself. Having things does not make me happy. I thought it might, but while it makes me feel secure and excited to think about our cool place, there are certain things that keep my brain occupied while doing them that really make me a more happy person on a moment to moment basis and I have not been doing them. I had discovered many things through my happiness project that brought happiness. With this whole house move the focus was totally lost and all these things just went out the window.

Well, I’m back on the wagon. There are just certain things I know make a difference in my life and it would be silly not to do them. I need to run. I need to listen to some sermons from church. I need to cook. I love to cook for my family. That is not to much to do to bring more happiness in my life.

Today is October 1^st and the focus for this month is to

Pay Attention~ Mindfulness

Meditate, examine true rules, stimulate the mind in new ways, and I’ve decided to keep a journal to write down what I am thankful for.

I am back and ready for some happy.

communication

Communication… not my strong point. I am the girl that you call and I don’t answer so you leave a message and then I don’t call back for five years only after you have totally written me off. My mom used to make fun of me when I was a kid. While other little girls were talking to their friends on the phone about whatever for God knows how long my conversations were more like “Hey, what do you need, okay I got to go.” While my phone etiquette has improved tremendously, my desire to do so has not strengthened much in the last 20 years. This has stretched amazingly into my email life as well.  I currently have 500 emails. I think I enjoy a bit more elusive life where I can participate in communication with others at whim. I like having good relationships with people, but I guess am just okay with quiet time to myself too. So I had a guy worker come to my house this morning to give me a quote on some drywall work on my house. He was very nice, but he totally did not hold back in letting me know communication is an issue for me. “So you are really hard to get a hold of aren’t you?!”  He says not really asking a question. “Just answer your phone!” Ugh. The majority of the time when the phone rings I yell at it to stop ringing.  And my major in college was Mass Communications! But seriously, what is my aversion to communication? I have decided that after all of these years of fighting the need to have conversations I am going to adopt a new relationship with the telephone. Instead of yelling at it when it rings I am going to remind myself of the reality- there is a person on the other end that cared enough about me to actually call me. It is not the phone trying to interrupt my peace, it is an actual person that wanted to hear the sound of my voice and how cool is that! To all of you have tried in earnest to get a hold me before I sincerely apologize. I have phone issues. I promise from now on out I will answer all phone calls as they come in even if my kids are tackling me down at that moment. If I do not answer it will be because I am in a no ‘cell phone area’ and I will call back as soon as possible. I will answer emails daily. I may even make a phone call or two myself. And I will make time for this blog.

Money

Money.

Money, Money, Money. Last month in the happiness project the focus was money. It is funny how the focuses have fallen so interestingly into my own life. I have definitely spent some serious money over these last few weeks for sure.

Focusing on money when we are talking about happiness seems to be a bit of a dichotomy.  Money usually doesn’t get talked about much unless it a problem and bringing stress not happiness.

It is the unexpected ‘holy cows’ that really get the stress going for me. But spending in general can give me heart palpitations; I am not going to lie.

We went on two major vacations and bought a house that needs lots of work. Holy cow!

Good thing the first month’s focus was about organization because we organized the money so we were really able to do all we wanted to. It fit the budget or so to speak.

I guess when it comes to money the real kicker is to talk about it a lot before it gets to be a problem bringing stress and unhappiness. The key to keeping money on the relatively happy end of the spectrum is to make a plan before it gets bad and hope the plan goes well.

So far so good.

p.s. the post is a sort of to be continued. I am going to post pictures of the trips and my new house here soon.  Some things are worth the money.

Friends~

Friends~

Last month the focus of my happiness project was suppose to be friends…

Friends have not always been my strong point.

I have always been close to my family and they are still the people I am closest to. Braking away from them to make friendships was something I always felt like I needed but never did. When I did break away I tended to lose myself in friendships. I needed to be stronger in who I was. A balance. Friends should be people that make your life easier to live whether it be that you need someone to talk to, advice, or just a good laugh.   

Fortunately, I can say now that God has blessed me with great people in my life. For the first time I really don’t feel that I am lacking. Everyone I do have around me brings me up and that is all I need. Now I have lots of people that all contribute to my whole picture (or puzzle) of happiness even if it is not perfect. I have a good girlfriend friend to share my joys and sorrows with. A whole slew of wonderful Christian ladies that are guaranteed to make you laugh your socks off when all together. I have a hubby to share my life with. A sissy that I swear is one of the only people who really gets how odd I can sometimes be and still loves me for it. A Daddy that would drop anything for me. And a Momma that is my rock in so many ways. My kids make me crazy and I’m not quite sure if I can call them friends yet, but they can make me laugh just the same. I have a great extended family, people who care about me, and people I love.  My cup runnith over…

Here are a few things I found on friendship

A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely. Pam Brown

How to be a Good Friend

http://anamikas.hubpages.com/hub/How-to-be-a-Good-Friend-Qualities

A to Z of Friendship

A Good Friend -
Accepts you as you are
Believes in "you"
Calls you just to say "HI"
Doesn't give up on you
Envisions the whole of you
Forgives your mistakes
Gives unconditionally
Helps you
Invites you over
Just "be" with you
Keeps you close at heart
Loves you for who you are
Makes a difference in your life
Never Judges
Offers support
Picks you up
Quiets your fears
Raises your spirits
Says nice things about you
Tells you the truth when you need hear it
Understands you
Values you
Walks beside you
Xplain things you don't understand
Yells when you won't listen and
Zaps you back to real.

More Than A Shoulder to Cry On: The Surprising Benefits of Friendship

Women are hardwired to crave close friendships, and these bonds can provide us with unique benefits. Here, a few things researchers have recently uncovered about the power of friendships.

The friendship effect: Mountains become molehills

How it works: In a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, researchers asked participants to stand at the base of a steep hill and estimate how tough it would be to climb. Those standing with a friend gauged the ascent to be less steep compared with those who were alone.

What's more... The longer the study participants had known their friends, the more gentle they estimated the incline to be.

The friendship effect: Disease becomes less deadly

How it works: Harvard research has shown that breast cancer patients with no friendship network are four times more likely to die from the disease than those with ten or more close friends.

What's more... Studies have also shown that social support can lower blood pressure, protect against dementia, and reduce the risk of depression.

The friendship effect: Stress feels more manageable

How it works: When women are stressed, their brains release the feel-good hormone oxytocin, which encourages them to bond. (Male brains, on the other hand, are more subject to the effects of the hormones cortisol and adrenaline, which promote the fight-or-flight response.)

What's more... "The female response is much more effective in mitigating stress and may be one reason women tend to outlive men," says Terri Apter, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Cambridge.

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/relationships/The-Hidden-Benefits-of-Friendship#ixzz1SySOVD00

leisure and last month

     Last month was supposed to be leisure. I was supposed to focus my attention on the things I love to do and bypass the stress. Well, let me just tell you it was not that easy. I think last month was the most stressful month I have had in forever! Work was crazy, kids were crazy, my schedule was crazy- everything.

It was super hard because things being the way they were I couldn’t run and I have realized this is essential for me when I feel the anxiety and the feeling of being so overwhelmed creep in. It seemed like last month all the little things that I always do turned into really big things all going on at once. For instance, I belong to this wonderful MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) group. I am a group leader and I love it. Usually it does require some work, but I always make it happen. One of my jobs is to remind the ladies in my group when it is our turn to bring food. I totally forgot until 8 o’clock the night before. This, in mops group standards, was huge. It all worked out but seriously, my brain was just so not there.

I didn’t cook because we had something going on it seemed like every night.

 I think the worst thing I decided to do last month was try to be a couponer. I thought I would love couponing. I like to shop, I like to cook, I like to get a deal and I like to be in control of organizing things… I thought. Well, not so much when it came to couponing. I spent all my extra time trying to come up with a good system for it and then I just felt like a loser because I was missing deals I should have realized. I think I spent almost the same amount of money without the gourmet food. I did save on some things, but mostly I just constantly felt like I was out of time to do a good job with it. Problem is that now that I started I cant stop. I have decided to only clip the coupons for the things I buy all the time and try to not let my brain get so wrapped up. Yes, I did save some money, but the enjoyment I get out of making a grocery list out of cookbook definitely outweighs making a grocery list out of my coupon stack. All the numbers just stress me out and cooking is supposed to be a stress reliever

The other issue with last month is we did not go to church at all. We don’t always go and usually it is not to big a deal because I listen to the sermons on my ipod when I run- it is very inspirational. Since I have not been running I have not gotten the inspiration and reminder of the great miracle of our lives. I need the reminder.

I had all the craziness, but I ended the month in total paradise. Carl and I took our honeymoon in Long Boat Key, FL at my grandparents’ condo and every year we try to go back. For the last week of this past month the whole family spent 7 days in heaven on the beach. No worries, no stress, some bugs, but for the most part it was just amazing! We spent each evening at sun down by the water watching all the boys in our fam play football and chasing sand crabs with the kids. It was awesome!! I will post some pictures.

Now back to reality and getting rid of stress in normal life-

 Tomorrow morning I am going running. I am going to listen to Todd (our pastor) and laugh and be inspired. I am going to hug my kids like there is no tomorrow because that is what really matters. And I am going to enjoy this beautiful, crazy, amazing life.

Having Fun

This month I am suppose to get serious about having fun. What is fun? What may be fun for one person may not be fun for another. I have also found that what I think is fun now is totally different now that I have kids. I relish in my quiet activities. I love surfing the internet and finding out things that I would have never know otherwise. I love it. I think it is very fun to cook. I actually really enjoy to go the grocery store by myself with Pandora on my phone and listen to good music while I search for what I have on my shopping list. It always takes me way longer than it should. I love to be outside. I love to sit in the sun and take in the sunshine. I love to garden. I love to take super long bubble baths and watch trashy reality tv on my computer. I love to run and listen to Sagebrush podcasts. I love to finish a peace of art. I admit I don’t always love creating it until I see progress and with pencil that usually takes awhile. But I do love it and should do it more. Same with ridding. I haven’t ridden my poor old horse in forever. I hate to get ready to ride, but I love it when I am doing it. It is nostalgic considering how much time I spent ridding as a kid. I love the summer. I love to hear my kids laugh outside. I love to eat ice pops all day with them under our big sun umbrella in the back yard. I love a good chat with a friend, my mom, my sister, or my hubby. Good conversation with someone that really cares. I love a good book. The kind that you can’t put down and the pages just disappear.  These are a few things really enjoy. This month I am going to try to do all of them more and really focus on only doing things I really enjoy. When there is an option the things I only kinda like to do I am going to have say no. This is about enjoying my time so I can truly say “at this moment I am happy.”  

Outward vs. Inward Happiness

Through this happiness project this year I have had a big ‘a ha’ realization about happiness. There are two big kinds of happiness. The first is outward happiness. This is the infectious laughter, the kind words, the always having something positive to say and refraining from the negative, a simple smile and so on. The second is inward happiness. This is the feeling of peace in a crazy world, the happy thoughts about someone you love, a place you are going, a sense of accomplishment, self worth and contentment. There are two kinds of happiness, inward and outward and the trick is to mastering both at the same time.  

Just because you are great at faking outward happiness doesn’t always mean you have it all together inside. We have to work at it. This was where I found myself at the beginning of the year. It seemed like I had it all together, but I needed a focus, a goal, something to bring my thoughts together and give me a purpose to bring more joy into my heart. God definitely helped with this. It gives me a sense of peace to hear encouraging words that give my little life reason. There is an energy that connects us and that is amazing and comforting at the same time. Even if you are not a church going person the acknowledgement that all our lives do fit together and we can all learn and grow from each other is uplifting and brings inward happiness. It has for me.

Focusing on things that need improvement in my life has also brought me inward happiness. That has been the purpose of my happiness project. I have had to focus on parts of my life and change my way of thinking.

Things have come full circle and it is outward happiness that has needed attention lately. You can be completely happy and content on the inside, but if you don’t figure out how to show it then what is the point? This actually can take some effort. Remembering to smile, to say positive things and not negative, and trying to laugh at the small things. I have realized my mood can affect everyone around me. The harder I try to let the happiness that I have inside show on the outside then the happier everyone around me becomes. I have realized that sometimes it is ok to remind the people closest to me to let their happiness show also. Their mood affects my happiness as well and I want it to be a positive change, not negative. Inward happiness you control, but outward happiness is highly influential. Surrounding myself with happy people makes me happier as well.

There are two kinds of happiness. My goal now is to bring outward and inward happiness together and be strong enough and smart enough to recognize when it happens so I can make it happen again.

Are you happy?

An update: end of March and on to April

I have totally slacked off with updating my blog lately. Good news is that I have not slacked off with my project at all. In fact, things have been going great.

I finished off the month of work fabulously. Despite everyone wanting us to go to computerized system at the salon we have decided against it. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it! Instead we decided to focus our attention on things that we can fix easily and we have a list we are working off of. The salon has been doing great and I had one of the best months ever with permanent makeup. When Lorenco’s is doing well it really makes me so much less stressed. That finished up March and my month of work all on a good note.

On to April- April has been for the kids. My goal this month has been simple: put their feelings first. They are so cute and beautiful and fresh from God. Although they challenge my sanity in every way I just can’t imagine my life with out them. I wanted to do projects with them so we did a whole magic themed project one day. Mason helped me plant in the back yard another day and we made a fountain. I have been practicing guitar with him which is just so cute. He can play the beginning of ‘Smoke on the Water’ and it is so cool. Kenna and I ‘make tea’ together with her dollies. She actually helps me cook too. Time goes by so fast. I have really just been trying to soak in all the ‘good stuff’ with my little ones. April has been great!

I made it all the way through lent with only eating fast food once. No Starbucks and no regrets. I’m so glad I did this. It was so much healthier for all of us and now I don’t even want fast food. I did lose weight- an added bonus, had more money and a clearer focus on what is important. I think I might just keep it up.

In my kitchen: I’m trying to remember all the good stuff I have made since my last post. I don’t think I can remember it all but I did have a couple favorites. The other night I made ‘beggars linguine with shredded chicken’. It is butter, almonds, chicken, golden raisins, finely chopped figs, salt and pepper and parmesan. I ate way to much of it. So good. I have come up with a bunch of ideas to make good healthy food and pretty easy. The Dutch oven is my favorite kitchen item. That pot just makes everything taste good. I really enjoy cooking so much. I can’t wait until this summer and I can have all the fresh herbs from my little garden to play with. I know it will all taste that much better!  

This happiness project has been so far one of the best things I have ever done. I have grown in so many ways and have changed my focus for my life. I have really just realized how blessed I am in my life.

So far with work

I don’t know why, but this month has kinda just all come together. It does seem a little weird that the month of work has been easier then the month of love (last month) or organization (January). The big part of this challenge is to keep up with the months past resolutions while improving on a new part of my life. For some reason the balance just worked out this last week!

Work: Work started out a bit rocky with a few difficult clients and upside down schedules. But I just kept with it. I have a lot on my plate, but excited. We brought in a new makeup line that I really like. I have increased my business in areas that I am normally a little intimidated by. I have made a more money and managed to keep stress down. Can’t complain. I still have a ways to go to feel like I really accomplished my goals for the work month (if paperwork doesn’t kill me first), but it’s working out. I have stayed busy and improved business so can’t complain too much.

Lent: Giving up eating out for lent is not been simple because I really crave Starbucks sometimes, especially since there is one on every corner these days. You know what though; it’s really not that bad. I have an extra $100 a week. Can’t believe I was spending that much, but I was. Since it is for lent I think I should give some of it to our church or a charity or something: This week’s goal.

Love: The time change has equaled the kids going to bed at an incredibly late hour. I also have had something going on like every night and sometimes don’t get home until real late. We have not been on a date just the two of us in I don’t even know how long. Somehow though, despite the apparent challenges of life, love has been really been there. We both have been running a lot more. I think that makes us happier so that’s good. But I really feel like even if it means staying up ‘til two in the morning and we are like zombies the next day we both are really trying to spend time with each other. Netflix dates in the Hohsfield living room. It was Carl’s B-day on the 20^th so I spoiled him and got him a cool bike rack and new cologne. His mom made chicken and dumplings Friday night and my mom made enchiladas on Sunday. Good birthday weekend.

Organization and Cooking: I did get a bit less organized and improvised a few meals which all turned out good, but I do better with a good recipe. We have eaten almost all the beef recipes in my cook book which surprised me. Turns out we are real beef eaters. There is no pasta in this book and sometimes a little pasta is just needed and that is where I think the improvising came from. In any case, I made a lot of good stuff and still am enjoying it so much. I make pea soup all the time now. It is one of my favorite lunches. I also tried leek and potato soup and provencal vegetable soup and the kids loved both! I made tuna-packed bell peppers. I really liked it, Carl ate it, Kenna ate the bell peppers and Mason thought we were crazy. I made corned beef for St Patrick’s day and turned it into a really great Spanish quiche the next morning with some red chili. Very good. M. Jacques’ Armagnac chicken was great. It is funny to see what my kids eat left to their own decision. McKenna eats all the chicken and nothing else. Mason eats all the carrots and potatoes and won’t touch the chicken. They are funny. They both loved Mediterranean style halibut that I made which really shocked me. Eggplant parmesan too. Garlicky crumb coated broccoli was great, but broccoli is one of my favorite veggies anyway. I think the best meal was probably the short ribs in red wine and port with cheesy mashed potatoes. I took it to mom and dad’s and it was great. Abbey and Corey came over for one of my improvised chicken pasta and chickpea concoctions. I do think I have definitely become a more educated cook. I also think all these recipes will taste very different with fresh herbs this summer as opposed to the dried ones. I have not been planning the menu as well. This week: plan ahead and try something very different and new.

Giving up eating out- holy cow

Work is not just about the place I work at. Sometimes it doesn’t hurt to work on other things in my life. I have decided to give up eating out for lent. No- I am not catholic, but when you are really needing to work at something it doesn’t hurt to have a good purpose. The way I see it this will improve my wallet, waistline, and give me time during my cravings to think about what is really important. Yes, this does include Starbucks, so it will be a real sacrifice.

March in the Happines Project

I have really been stalling about my March Happiness project focus. It is supposed to be ‘work’ and to be honest sometimes I really just don’t feel like putting any more into work. I have been dragging my feet. I even debated do something else and going back to this later in true procrastinator fashion. Then at church last Sunday the sermon was on money and getting a handle on it so it doesn’t get a handle on you. In my personal life I have good control right now, but in my job… not so much. I have just kinda let the business keep on running lately and not staying on top of it. So with a little gilt and some renewed enthusiasm I am going to work on work.

The project this month is going to be simple:

1) Revamp the now ancient budget for my business

- need to make a plan to pay off any debt

- would like to find a to give back more to

2) Research and order a computer program to do the scheduling book in order to         bring us into this century   

3) Make sure to answer my phone so I can increase business despite my kids literally hanging on me (May have to lock myself in the bathroom or something to muffle their ‘mommy’s while trying to talk and seem professional)

4) Watch at least one video a week to keep up with my trade

5) Stay positive
here we go...

My kitchen last week

I have really been trying to impose better health with my kiddos. For breakfast every morning this last month we pull up their little seats to the coffee table and pig out on apples, toast, blackberries and all sorts of good-for-you things. I realized the informality of the coffee table has added a bit of fun to breakfast and the kids are actually way more into it. Super fun! They have actually have gotten way more adventurous in what they will eat. When it comes to my cooking adventure I am pretty sure my kids think their mom is crazy for putting this ‘weird’ food in front of them, but they are starting to come around.

Tuesday I made a gorgonzola-apple quiche. It was very good and unexpected. It was also easy to make so a big plus in this crazy world.

On Wednesday I watched my sister’s baby for the first time while she is going back to work. It was a little crazy with my two kids dancing around and keeping a baby safe from their craziness. I did manage to put together a great asparagus soup. It was very tasty although I may have added a bit too much pepper. I really liked it though and it was super healthy. Abbey just hung out with me that afternoon  and helped me make dinner. It made way more then I had planned so we invited my parents over too. We made hachis parmentier, or the French version of sheppard’s pie. It is beef and sausage cooked into a good scrumptiousness. Then you add mashed potatoes on top along with cheese and bake it up until it’s perfect. Very good. Of course, since it is essentially beef and potatoes, the guys loved it. We all did. We finished the quiche off from the night before as well. So funny though: we all just ate in the living room with the kids at the coffee table. Mason stands up and hits the corner of the plate and his food slingshots all over his face. It really was funny despite the mess it made.

The end of the Love month

This month has been a good one. Well, focusing on my relationship has been good and important. It wasn’t as though my marriage was in shambles before, but I have realized that with a little focus things can be better. We had a couple of more argumentative days and a little distance. What I learned in this month was just how important communication is. Just talking about things makes everything better even though it is sometimes the last thing either of us want to do. Now sure I knew this already, but I was just comfortable with the way it was. Shaking things up and forcing more communication in areas that we don’t normally focus on has been challenging, but very rewarding. It all started this month with a lack of understanding of our money as you read. Since then we designated a finance night to talk about all that. We also talked about all sorts of things in our relationship all the way from being better at talking on the phone to sitting next to each other on the couch. A lot came out and it was a time that was needed for us. We ended the week going to church together and having a date night at home on the couch with a good movie. We really did just make something that was pretty good even better. It wasn’t easy to focus on love and realizing it needed work, but it was well worth it.

The other half of this month was to love myself by working out and treating my health better. I didn’t do so bad at this. Kinda funny- while writing this now I am watching the documentary Super Size Me. Holy cow! I am way healthier then a give myself credit for considering I could be a lot worse off. So, anyway even though I didn’t get a workout in everyday I did up my running and stretching. Generally, I have felt good!

All in all, not perfect but a good start for bringing more love into my life.

Love is getting another week

Let’s just forget last week ever happened in the love and happiness project of mine because it has been, well not so loving. It started out good like I set out to do, but as most things in life old routines and emotions run thick and love and happiness get left by the wayside.

I don’t want to go on without getting this love thing right. I didn’t realize this would be a challenge, but it has been. The love is there, but nobody seems very happy about it. Tonight I am going to make a plan for this week, to improve the things that need improving. ‘Love’ is getting one more week. It needs it.  

The good, the bad, and the kids that don’t sleep!

The good, the bad, and the kids that don’t sleep!

Well I have made Chicken Basquaise, bell pepper and bacon quiche (One thing my kids actually ate), almond flounder meuniere and lemon steamed spinach. The fact that I have been able to keep up with last month’s challenge is good and I suppose I should start with that.  

I have had a real up and down week. This month is supposed to be Love: love my hubby and myself in honor of Valentine’s day. I admit I feel more like I have just been trying to play a game of catch-up. My kids have not slept well at all which means when they are awake it is a constant battle to keep everyone happy and instead I am going a little crazy. It is kinda funny. I thought they were sleeping better than they were. Carl was acting really grouchy though and I couldn’t figure out what was going on with him. Then I said, “Well the kids didn’t sleep to bad last night.” He laughs. Turns out they woke up about an extra five times last night that I didn’t even know about. They keep just going to his side of the bed. Everybody has been tired. So with that, working out has been a thing of non existence since last Sunday when I ran. Working out is supposed to be the ‘love me’ aspect of this month. Then on Valentine’s Day I worked super late and was going to pick up Zio’s Italian food on the way home, but the wait was 2 hours. We had to do Panda Express instead. It was already way late and we were both way tired. Then he went out of town on Thursday through late Friday night. Spending real time with my hubby is suppose to be a big part of the love my hubby aspect of this month and this week has been rough on that front. So it really seemed like there was quite a bit of bad rolled up in this week and the love was getting lost. But without the bad things will never get better. I had this major epiphany on Friday- If I really wanted happiness I needed to get more serious about making some changes. I realized Carl didn’t originally fall in love with a frumpy grouchy house mom, he fell love with a spunky, little bit wild girl that enjoyed life and laughing. I know he loves this old house mom but, I think that girl needs to be revived a bit.  One of my biggest issues ever is staying up too late and then when the kids wake me up at 6:30 I just want to die. I have never been a morning person even before kids, but that should be something I can change. It is something I need to change if I want to wake up happier and have some good time to get a work out in and working out boosts serotonin. It will be doing something nice for my hubby because then he won’t have to get ready for work with kids hanging on him and  if I can get up, boosts the happiness and get started on the day before either of the little rascals I will be in a much better place. So the good- I have decided to make a big change: I am going to get up at six everyday and get a workout in and really focus on the fun in life.

I decided all this on Friday. I waited up for Carl last night to get home and although this week had its rough spots it has all ended on a good note…

A Good Run

Things are going great-

I admit I have not been working out a full 30 min every day, but I have gotten in way more than 30 min on other days. I actually hit a huge goal. I have been running for the past few months. Not super consistent, but enough to build up my lungs. The other day I was wondering how far I could run if I tried. On Sunday I set out from my parents’ house with no real destination in mind. I ended up running to the river which I found out thanks to my nike ipod chip is about 3 miles. (Oh yeah, update from last post: washing your ipod chip does not ruin it. Thank goodness!) Then I turned around and came back. Six miles!! I haven’t run that far in years. Everyone was about to send out a search party for me. I didn’t tell them I was going to be gone so long. My bad. I love running these days. There is no one there to ask me to do a single thing or ask the question ‘why?’ for the thousandth time. A big part is I have started listening to podcasts from our church while I run. It seems silly and it is not that I am praying while I run or anything. If you have ever been to our church you would know, our pastor is so funny yet so inspirational. It is like listening to a great motivational speaker.  I run to clear my head and get motivated to better myself in my life. Listening to these podcasts does exactly that for me. Sunday’s was awesome. I have actually listened to this one before, but it is so good. He says the best quote, “What God does in you in the waiting room of life is often more important then what we are waiting for.” Something I always need to hear!

Taking a turn-

Wow- it is just weird sometimes how things happen. Just last week I decided to focus on my relationship and making sure love is in my home and pow- I had no idea how much was going to change. All for the good, actually. It was kind of a ‘be careful what you wish for’ thing.

I was just going along with the week. Tuesday was snow day so both kids were home. Abbey and my mom came over. I made celery-celery soup. Very good except I could not find celery root so I had to improvise and when I put it in the blender it went everywhere. This was only foreshadowing for a later event during the week. I did p90x that night and that was great. Everything seemed to be going well.

I made scallops with caramel-orange sauce, sautéed asparagus and rice for date night with the hubby and told him about the ‘5 ways to bring love into your life’ and how this was something we should try. He seemed to think it was alright.

Then it all got jumbled. I’m not sure how it all happened, but flash forward to McKenna crying in the middle of the kitchen, me trying to make the kids dinner and then a whole container of soup crashing to the floor all over me and under my refrigerator right as Carl walks into the kitchen. You have to understand Carl is a bit ocd anyway about things being super clean and well let’s just say this was one of the biggest disasters ever. So I take off my socks and pants that are covered in soup and start to tackle the mess, McKenna is still in the middle of kitchen now crying ‘mommy naked!’ I had boxers on, but to her it was confusing. Mason comes running in sliding on soup and repeatedly saying his favorite word, ‘why?’ Carl just looked shell-shocked, like he had just walked into a battle zone of soup and was debating jumping off a cliff. This is my life!

Somehow I managed to get in two p90x’s and two good runs. Saturday was actually 3 ½ miles- not a ton but the most I have done in a long, long time.

I also made beef daube and creamy mashed potatoes- now I have a secret. I actually am one of the only people in the world that does not like potatoes, but you put enough salt and butter in anything and you can’t go wrong. This was sooo good. I will have to post the recipe for this one.

Then came Sunday. This was the day when ‘love’ was challenged. I have been seeing Craig’s List up on the computers in the house and knew something fishy was up. I even have asked, but was told ‘oh, I’m just messing around’. Whatever! So, I let Carl sleep in on Sunday, I thought anyway. Next thing I know he appears fully dressed and says ‘oh I forgot, this guy is going to look at my car this morning so I will be back in a bit.’ What!!!! He has been through many cars in the last few years and it always ends up being not as good a deal as it is suppose to be and his car- I love driving that car. I want that car. It is a little older, cool BMW  that always makes me feel like a cool chick again when I drive it and not the frumpy soccer mom that the huge suv I drive now transforms me into. Then while he was gone I find one of running shoes in the washer- ipod running chip still attached. It must have fallen in! I think it was washed twice. Oh forget it- this was not my morning.  

I am the finance person in our marriage. I don’t know how it happened. I just try to get keep us out of debt while trying to keep us doing the things we like to do. This is also the same thing I do for Lorenco’s, my salon. No easy feat and very stressful although I have learned to loosen up a bit and remain calm on the outside even though my brain is exploding on the inside.

When Carl announces he is selling his car with no further info my brain pretty much did explode! So I said, ‘I quit! I don’t really want to have to try to figure all this out. It is just too much and I quit!’ While he was gone I cleaned the house like a crazy person and talked to myself about how mad I was- truly crazy style- and when he got home with all frustration full frontal I told him I quit! Which may have been a little over reacting. After the dust settled and I cooled off. We talked and decided we needed a finance night to go over all of this and make some decisions calmly without me being crazy.

Monday night was finance night and a great night. We talked to each other, listened to each other and turns out maybe he was right anyway. With the 5 list in the back of both our minds we told each other thanks for everything the other person does for our family. We laughed and had a great time and got so much accomplished and had fun. We decided we should do finance night every week!

Tuesday he did sell his car and got a new, cheaper, but very nice suv, with some extra cash to go in savings.

I guess life can be unexpected, but I think ‘love February’, despite its challenges is going well.

February’s Happiness Project- Love

Love-

That is the focus for February since it is Valentines and all. The goal this month is to show my husband I love him and love myself as well. There was this lady on Good Morning America that gave 5 ways to keep things good in your marriage:

1)    Give 5 genuine expressions of appreciation a day

2)   Kiss for at least 10 sec. at least once a day

3)   Talk for at least 15min each day

4)   Go on a weekly date

5)    Take a vacation alone at least once a year

I think the last one may have to wait, but the rest are totally do-able.

 That takes care of my hubby, but you can’t love someone unless you can love yourself. Well I do love my hubby, but I am easier to get along with and love when I take care of myself too. Running and working out is very important to my physical and mental well being. The goal here is to fit in at least 30min of working out a day. I have commissioned Carl in on this too. He has agreed to the same 30 min challenge. We will see how it goes and hopefully be able to support and help each other stay focused.

I love what I learned from January’s organize and energize so I am going to keep up with the cooking. I love it actually, and it is so good for the family. Now to make it work with the love aspect of my life. Here we go…

Wrapping up January

Wow, things really have changed this month. I am so glad I decided to do everything I have done- the happiness project, organize and energize and the cooking adventure. I think I have learned a lot this month about how I can make my life better. For one, food brings family together. People in your family seem to follow the aroma or something of fresh cooked food. And it makes people happy to eat it. It makes me really happy to see other people happy from eating it. I love cooking it too. I love planning meals, shopping for the ingredients, and spending the time in the kitchen with a purpose and a plan. I love that after an hour or so of following directions it all pays off when you see people enjoy your work. As an artist I have felt that feeling before after completing a painting, but food actually pulls people together as well. I think I found a new hobby. Another thing I learned is that organizing things before hand really helps out when energy is running low. Buying all the ingredients on Monday night really helps after a night of no sleep with the kids and and all energy is depleted on Tuesday. The home cooked food is worth getting my rear end up off the couch. Organizing all this is not nearly as difficult for me as the energy part. I am going to have to continue working on energy. As far as happiness... I definitely found something that can bring happiness to not just me, but lots of people. January- success.

Kids and food

The relationship between my kids and food is, well, just frustrating. I know most young 2-4 year olds are much the same way. How in the heck do you get them to eat? Breakfast has been our thing lately. Kinda fun. I made goat cheese and strawberry tartine for me, or Brie cheese with apples and crackers. The kids love toast with Cinnamon and sugar and apples. Kenna likes apples with ranch dressing. It's weird, but at least she eats it all. We all camp out together, eat together and its been fun.
On a not so good note, the kiddos had bad, bad colds last week and with no sleep motivation was not so high. I still got in a couple of meals. I made fresh orange pork tenderloin with broth-braised potatoes and wild rice for my mom's birthday. Everyone came over for the party and it was great. I love how food brings people together. I made pumpkin-Gorgonzola flans and spinach salads with everyday vinaigrette. I had hoped the flans would taste as good as the picture looked, but k the American in me was expecting something a little sweeter. Next time I think it will need some brown sugar.
Considering the craziness of a week with sick kids I think i did ok with my cooking adventure. Energized? I would say no, but organized enough at least to get a few recipes out on the table and some great time with the family.

This last week

This last week has been a different one, but good. I only got to do two meals from my awesome cook book, but they were both so good. It wasn't that I was wussing out though. It was actually a week filled with family birthdays The whole point of this project is to bring family closer so I didn't feel bad about skipping out on the cooking to celebrate.
I last posted on Tuesday. I wanted to cook just something light and I almost didn't want to do anything, but then I say this show on the food network, French Cooking at Home, or something like that, and I was inspired enough to get my lazy rear end off the couch and into the kitchen. I actually was so glad I did. I made 'cheating on winter pea soup' and 'cafe style grated carrot salad'. I was just doing it for a light meal for Carl and I, but then Abbey and Corey came over. I was a little worried that the green slime looking soup and carrots were not going to cut it for the boys, and they did ask repeatedly if I was trying to turn them into 'hippies'. I admit I even had my doubts. I've never had that kind of soup for dinner, but it was awesome! They all actually got seconds. My little girl even loved it and she doesn't like anything. I think this may be one of my new favorite comfort foods- wiered appearance and all.
Wednesday was Nannie's birthday and we went to her house to celebrate. The kids are so cute together. Sometimes there is just nothing quite like pizza and birthday cake.
Friday night we decided to go the water park hotel. The kiddos had an amazing time. Kids love water and I love that it get all their energy out. 
Saturday night was Abbey's birthday and we did a party at her house with all her friends. I love that she has so many people that really love her in her life. Mason, my four year old sang her his favorite Brad paisley song. Gosh, he is cute! 
Then there was today. I had put out some ground beef earlier in the week for dinner and plans changed, but I didn't want it to go to waste. So in the midst of my crazy morning of kids and life I decided to make 'cafe salle pleyel hamburgers'. OK, so I don't mean to brag or anything, but these were no ordinary burgers. In fact Carl in the most seriousness ever said, "This was the best burger i have ever had." You have to understand he is like the ultimate burger connoisseur. It was amazing! I am going to have to make them again. Kids ate it all too. 
Tonight was Mom, Abbey and Grandma's party at Mom's house. I love my family. They are all crazy, but I love them. 
Although I didn't cook as much this week and it wasn't totally my focus I spent a ton of time enjoying my family which is the whole point of this anyway. I was organized enough to get everything done I really needed and could spend time with everyone and enjoy it. In the end, all in all a good week in the happiness project,  

Mission organization wearing me out

This mission of organize and energize has proven to be a lot of work this weekend and I am a bit worn out! Ran 5k on Saturday so got that out of the way, but that has been the extent of the running. Instead, I have been trying to 'make life easier' by eliminating sippie cups for the kids and go to cups and encourage more H2O intake. We also put the little 2yr old girlie in a toddler bed. This combination has equaled no sleep and a very tired mom. I actually caught her at 2 in the morning playing dress up with all her shoes on Sunday night. Who knows how long she was up for. So this organization needed a remodification. Last night she got her sippie and I used the Angel monitor on her bed so I knew right when she got up and could put her back to bed without stressing out. Went much better. But before I went to bed I had to 'organize' what I had to do for today. I am part of a mom's group and today was my day to help do a little presentation for spa day. I helped them make little samples of an olive oil sugar scrub. All natural and great for your skin. We also gave quick beauty tricks. I should have organized this Sunday though instead because it did take a bit of work to get it all together. Two trips to the store and some time, but it turned out well. So, at 12 o'clock last night I finally hit the sack.
Sitting here now considering backing out of the cooking adventure today because of sheer energy deprivation, but then this new show came on the cooking network- French Food at Home. Humph! I didn't even know they had a show like that, but it was that little nudge I suppose I needed to get my rear end up and into the kitchen. We will see how it turns out... 

First week of organized, energized cooking with my happiness project

January’s plan on my happiness project has been to organize and energize my life and so far so good. My cookbook “Around My French Table” has been awesome!!! Every recipe is complete with a little background story and just makes me excited to cook it. I have decided cooking is awesome. It is a little work, but you get instant conformation that it was worth it when you take that first bite, unlike so many other things we work at in life. When I go for a run my legs do not feel instantly thinner. When I finish doing my third load of laundry for the day the clothes do not thank me for getting them out of the hamper and it’s full again the next day. However, that first amazing bite of French onion soup with beautiful cheese bubbling over is instant conformation that a little work in the kitchen goes a long way for our taste buds and our hearts.

Speaking of which, this is what I cooked for dinner this week: ‎

1st day of my cooking adventure I made homemade French onion soup and a great avocado salad with a lemon vinaigrette. We had Abbey as our guest. Was a little hectic getting it on the table with babies crying and life going on around me. McKenna had her shots that day and refused to cooperate about anything and Mason was not help. I should have turned up the heat on the onions a little higher to start and it took a long time to realize this. Abbey got there right in time to help put the kids in the bath for me while I finished. Well sort of she tried to hold her own baby while trying to convince crying Kenna to get in, but close enough. Carl, in the mean time was trying to figure out why my truck wouldn’t start. Dinner got on the table by 6:30 and it turned out being only Abbey and I to eat it. Not really the kids ‘cup of tea’ yet and Carl was still outside with the truck, but did have his later. Despite the craziness it was very good and I was so glad to have Abbey there to enjoy it with me!!  

Wednesday night went a little smoother. It was Roast Chicken for les Paresseux and Gougeres. Mason actually helped me make the Gougeres (which are basically a cheesy puff biscuit) earlier in the day and then you can freeze them and cook them from frozen anytime. I was so fun to have him help. He mostly just stirred, but it was cute. After the crazy night before I decided preparation was in order so I decided exactly how much time I would need for everything and set out all the needed ingredients beforehand. It did also help greatly that the literal translation for Chicken les Paresseux is Chicken for Lazy People. You basically just through everything into a Dutch oven and let it cook! I also put carrots and potatoes in there so I didn’t even need to make anything else to go with it. It was great and everyone ate it including the kids. Abbey came over again and it was a great dinner. The recipe did call to cook the chicken liver with the chicken and Abbey dared each other to try it. I’ll try anything, but that is one thing both of us will only ever try once. Yuck! But the rest of the chicken was amazing!

Last night was kinda crazy again. We had Bistrot Paul Bert pepper steaks, les fritas (french fries), and asparagus and bits of bacon. Mom and Dad came over for dinner. The crazy thing about this meal was you had to make it a serve it right away. No making ahead here or it would get cold. The steaks had to be cooked a little longer, but were actually really good. Cooking I've decided is best when you have someone to share it with.

I have realized that I have really found a new hobby. I really like being in the kitchen and actually get why people get so fussy about the brand of pots they use and an oven that keeps good temperature. The one thing that I really have realized is my legs may not feel skinnier after I run, but they will feel fatter if I keep cooking this way. French people don’t get fat from this amazing food because they have small French appetites and savor their food, but I have an American sized appetite and two kids that keep me on the hurry clock- I’m working on it. In the mean time I did go for a three mile run today.

I may be an organized and energized cook, but I am also going to have to be an organized and energized runner too. lol

For January...

This January’s adventure was kinda stumbled upon. I started by doing what so many people do for a New Year s resolution and started cleaning out my house. I did the garage, closets, under the bed and then… I needed something else to do. So I started trying to organize my life. Something that had been bothering me was my crazy amount of lack of imagination when it comes to dinner for my family. I don’t know what has happened, but I seem to have developed a terrible case of writers block for the home cook! Because the thought of having to decide what to eat stresses me out, we end up just eating crap! The whole family suffers. It’s bad. My kids end up living off of ‘snacks’ of pop tarts and microwave popcorn. My husband lives off cereal and frozen pizza. I knew things had to change. Inspired by Julie and Julia, I thought wouldn’t it be great if I could pick up a good cook book and actually learn to cook the recipes in that book?! I went to my trusted, quiet friend Barnes and Noble. I picked up a ton of books. Some of just Italian, some American, some of all natural foods, some of diet foods, but I admit I was having a hard time finding a book that had just great, old fashioned home cooked food. Finally, I found it. It is called “Around My French Table,” by Dorie Greenspan. It was a total coincidence on the French inspired food thing. Never the less, it is perfect. All fresh, home cooked food that is made of simple ingredients that just taste great! I was inspired and excited!

 I have decided that I will be cooking great, home cooked meals from my new cook book at least three nights a week. Tuesdays, Wednesday s and Fridays I think will work best. During this time I really want to make a big deal about what it means to eat as a family and really enjoy the food we eat and company we have at our table. I’ve already done two meals this week before this post and it was awesome- Awesome for me to have purpose and awesome to actually experience the rewards of a little time in the kitchen!

January’s organized and energized cooking adventure here I come…

My first post...

I am trying to figure out what it is that keeps us- people, moms in particular- going. For me, I think the most important things in my life are family, God, and space to run.
I am embarking on a journey to see how I can improve my happiness and bring my family closer to these three important things. I am planning to pull out all the stops and use any and all ideas to do this.
To start- I am doing my own modified 'happiness project'. It is, after all a big thing right now and I would suggest it to anybody.
During this year of my happiness project I anticipate some things may be easy and some things hard, but I anticipate I will find that is what really is the Good Stuff...